i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
