Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Randomize
