Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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