It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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