I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
