i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
and she was petting her beer can
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
