So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
