You smell like stripper and shame
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
