Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
