just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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