I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
