idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize