He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
