Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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