shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I just pynch a tree in the face
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
