I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
