i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
