Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
