Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
