did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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