that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
