Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Randomize
