lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Michael Bay diarrhea
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Drunk is not a location!
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
