Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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