redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize