that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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