That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
