wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
