I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
