We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Randomize
