just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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