this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I could fuck to npr.
we're so committed to being not committed
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize