Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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