i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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