If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
