In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
