Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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