there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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