remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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