I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
