you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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