Just mADE A PArabola og urine
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
