their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
