Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
