If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Randomize
