dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
