shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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