You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
