I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
they need to just BURY HIM!
someone owes me an orgasm
sarcasm needs its own font
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Randomize
