its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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