you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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