i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
You can't special order awesome
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
