so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Im part way to drunk.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
