Yo dont text me then not text me
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
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