I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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