2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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