My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize