My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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