dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
