Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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